10 Things Every Man Should Know About Irish Women!

Ah us women – we truly are a complicated bunch! Being a member of the fairer sex I feel the need to dispel the preconception that women are from Venus and men are from Mars. You know what? We are all in fact from a small blue and green sphere called Earth! Now it is true that us women possess deep and complex minds with thoughts and ideas so profound that no man can even begin to comprehend them, but here is a simple guide for you men to enable you to understand your missus :- 10 Things Every Man Should Know About Irish Women. Consider this your new Bible!

1. Do not interrupt episodes of Made in Chelsea. The daily lives and goings-on of our favourite well-heeled Knightsbridge pals is compulsive viewing and requires our full attention. Under no circumstances do you interrupt or indeed breath throughout this glamour-fest (unless one of the eligible bachelors from the show is knocking on our frontdoor!) 

2. We like to be complimented. All girls like to be told they look nice from time to time. Tell us we look beautiful when we do and notice when we get out hair done! We have spent a small fortune on having our hair styled afterall – the least you can do it make one small teeny weeny comment about it. It will make us feel special and in return you can reap the benefits of our good spirits.

3. When we say; “We just want a cuddle” – we mean exactly that! – We just want a cuddle! Sometimes all we want is to get into the most fleecy pjs we own and curl up on the couch with our mans arms around us. No sneaky attempts to ‘cop a feel’ wanted! If we want more action – don’t worry we will let you know!

4. We like our men rugged and masculine! Now I’m not saying we want bulging muscles and guns of steel but we want our men to look after themselves! A little maniscaping is good but don’t go OTT on it – a little hair on the chest is a good thing and under no circumstances do you pluck your eyebrows (unless it’s to get rid of a uni-brow – then that’s acceptable). We like our men to look good but not to have taken longer to get ready for a night out than we do! We need the bathroom mirror more than you do!

5. On a first date – we expect you to pay. We may offer but we don’t expect you to take us up on it! This is a very important factor and can determine whether a second date is on the cards.

6. Shaving legs is a complete pain! The lengths that we women go to for the opposite sex is grueling and ridiculous. In the early stages of a relationship our legs will be silky smooth one hundred percent of the time.

But be warned – once we have reeled you in the occasional bit of stubble may appear on our legs! Oopsies! But you know what? Sometimes we just cannot be bloody bothered! We are normal natural ladies and surprise surprise we do have hair on our legs (and other places too!) Even Victoria Secrets models cultivate forests on their pins. Check out stunning Alessandra Ambrosio caught shaving her money makers in the back of a car last week! Oh and it gives us an   extra layer of warmth in the winter too!

 

7. When we say; “Oh I can’t have that. I’m on a diet”…the correct response is for you to re-assure us that there is no need for us to diet and that we look amazing the way we are. Do not remain silent, shrug and continue to scoff through the rest of the Ben & Jerry’s tub infront of us!

8. Sometimes it’s just lovely to be offered a cuppa tea and your favourite chocolate bar as a surprise – no strings attached! 

9. Girls like a bit of old-fashioned chivalry. All that’s required is that men open the door for their lady and allow her to walk through first. Easy peasy! Oh and standing up when she arrives into a restaurant is a must. I had the very awkward experience where my blind-date was already seated at the table surveying the menu when I arrived (I recognised him  from facebook.)

As I approached the table he just sat there, ass glued to the seat, simply glanced up at me and said; “Hi”. Nothing more and nothing less. He didn’t even introduce himself! Stand up and give your date a kiss on the cheek for god’s sake! Chivalrous without going overboard! First impressions count and needless to say no second date followed.

 10.Don’t diss our friends. They have been around longer than you and more than likely are going to stand the test of time and be around long after you have gone too! It’s OK for us to have a little rant about our closest girlfriends every now and then but you do not have the right to wade in on this. Just remain tight-lipped and nod politely – it’s far safer for you! Next week that friend could be back as flavour of the month!

So there you have it boys – not too difficult to decipher at all. Now just adopt the above as a mantra and recite it each morning to your reflection in the mirror (not creepy at all!)

STARVING FOR ATTENTION – but who is walking a thin line…

Muffin-tops, love handles, bingo wings, spare tyres – we are all too familiar with these terms. These unflattering ways of describing women’s bodies are plastered all over magazines. They are things that nobody wants associated with their body. In celeb-land, they are synonymous with failure, ugliness and laziness. Too often we encounter magazines relishing in the latest celebrity to gain a few pounds and gorge on some choccies. (I have lost count of the number of times I have seen Britney Spears pictured scoffing on her favourite southern fried chicken or Kerry Katona horsing into a kebab after a night on the town!)

    

Before and after shots of stars looking trim, and then not-so-trim, grace the front-covers and are supposed to make us mere minions feel better about ourselves, perhaps even humanise our perception of celebrities. It fails in its venture and in fact causes readers to analyse their own bodies and associate any weight gain with ridicule, shock and something to be avoided. We celebrate the weight-loss but mock the weight-gain.  

    

But now as summer approaches, we are set yet again, to be inundated with the diet spreads heralding the latest celeb fad to shed the pounds ahead of bikini season. The pressure is now on for women to pound the pavement, sign up to their nearest boot-camp, throw out the carbs and instead fill up on rabbit-leaf salads in a desperate bid to squeeze into those teeny-weeny bikinis.

But this craze of promoting weight-loss and quick-fix diets is dangerous. Magazines may not intend to, but they are instilling in their target market the belief that being thin is a must; thin equals sexy, desirable, success…the norm! Often readers of these articles are at vulnerable and influential stages in their lives whereby they emulate their idols. They see photos of Victoria Beckham, Mary Kate Olsen, Nicole Richie, Nikki Grahame, AnnaLynne McCord and Kate Middleton looking almost skeletal, gaining headlines and forging ahead with their careers and think that that is the benchmark upon which they must compare their own bodies.  

    

The growth in the phenomenon of ‘thinspiration’ is dangerous and the media need to err on the side of caution when ridiculing or praising a stars physical appearance. The media world is forever portraying an unrealistic aesthetic model which rewards skinniness.  This rewarding of thinness is adding to the growing number of women suffering from eating disorders.

The use of photo-shopping also needs to be addressed. The increase in the use of air-brushing already skinny models must be highlighted to teenagers, as often times, readers are aspiring to achieve an unrealistic size. Kate Middleton’s tiny waist was the subject of an air-brushing debate after she appeared on the cover of British glossy mag Grazia. Jessica Alba was reportedly air-brushed for her Campari ad campaign. (Why, oh why would you tamper with perfection!?)

If the use of air-brushing was banned altogether, we would see real celebrity bodies; warts, lumps and bumps – but is this why these photos are altered? Do the public not want to be faced with these realities and flaws? Are we to blame as we continue to believe that our celebrities are above imperfection and should be placed on pedestals? It needs to be remembered that these people are normal human beings. They suffer from weight issues just like anyone else. The only difference being that their every move (on the scales) is documented in print for the whole world to scrutinise.

The weight-debate will rage on forever. Only today we have the case of Alexa Chung. The English TV presenter and model is considered as a muse to many of the worlds top designers. The ultra-thin fashionista has graced the cover of Elle, Vogue, Harper’s Bazaar and even has a Mulberry handbag named after her! Pretty impressive! However yesterday Alexa posted a photo of herself with her mum on Instagram. The picture instigated a social networking weight debate. Since the posting the 28 year old has faced a barrage of criticism due to the alarmingly skinny shape of her legs! She has always had uber-skinny pins, but in this photo her twig-like legs are shocking. Alexa has previously defended her weight saying: “I’m naturally thin – I get thinner when I’m stressed.” (She must be one stressed lady!) 

Responding to comments made about her weight today Chung added: “Ok everyone thanks for the teen angst discussions. People are different sizes. I’m not trying to be thinspo for anyone”. Chung has frequently had to deny allegations that she suffers from anorexia.

Now I know that Alexa is hailed as a style-icon and it’s not her fault that she is “naturally thin” but perhaps it’s time the world opened its eyes and realised that celebrating celebrities like Alexa, by putting her on the front covers of magazines, needs to be stopped.  What’s really scary about the emaciated condition of Alexas legs is that any time I have met a celebrity in person, they are always much thinner and smaller in real life. She must be ridiculously skeletal then! 

 

If the media world begin to admire the real bodies out there – the majority of the population who average between a UK size 10-14 – we would be a step closer to embracing the real woman. Basically there is a pressing need to strike a happy medium. If magazines rely on showcasing ways to shed the pounds for the perfect bikini body in order to sell copies, then they should do so by promoting better health and lifestyle changes alongside photos of normal natural models rather than quick-fix fads supported by minuscule celebs.

I hope that the era of the size zero is now behind us. With the rise of curvaceous role models such as the Karashians, Kate Winslet and Sofia Vergara we may now be able to turn our healthy sized butts away from the fad-diet and unattainable size zeros and embrace what our momma gave us!